From Shy Introvert to Global Community Builder with Chris Borja

Hello everyone and welcome to the Blaze Your Own Trail podcast. My name is Jordan Mendoza. I'm your host and I've got a very special guest on the show today. His name is Chris Borja and I'm going to have him tell you a little bit about who he is and what he does today.

Chris Borja (07:13.164)
Yep, excellent. Thanks for having me, Jordan. Chris Borja, a former shy introvert and now a business networking consultant, trainer, coach, also a community builder with a connected networking group and also founded the Networking Breakthrough Academy and the Connected Toolkit.

Jordan Mendoza (07:32.454)
Awesome. Just a couple things guys. Okay. This is why Chris is on the show because he's blazing trails out there. And if a shy former introvert or probably current introvert, I still want to be shy sometimes can do it. Then so can you. And all of you listeners know my favorite part of the show is really taking a rewind and getting context into our guests story and their journey. So what I like to do is let's

go back to the formative years, so elementary, middle, high school years. So if you can share with the audience, Chris, where were you born and raised? And what kind of kid were you? You alluded to it, I think, already a little bit, but let's kind of get some context into the early years.

Chris Borja (08:17.388)
Yeah, I'm first generation born here. My parents are from the Philippines and grew up in the Los Angeles area. For those familiar with that, I grew up in Pasadena, parts of LA and Marina Del Rey later on and Covina, just different parts of basically Southern California right around Los Angeles. In school, I was a very good student. I was a great student. was the kid that during parent teacher conferences,

they would say, if only we had 20 more Chris's in the class, because I was like the perfect student, meaning that I never messed with anyone, I didn't talk out of turn, I would sit at the desk with my hands like this, like they taught us and just wait for instructions. And it worked great in school, it just didn't work very good in business, but we'll talk about that later. But back to the school, even in school, even if I knew the answers that the teacher was asking,

Even way back then, I would feel very self-conscious and almost like so worried of what people would think of me. You know, what if I got the answer wrong? What if they talked about me? What if they felt I was stupid? And so oftentimes, even if I knew the right answer, I wouldn't speak up. And that carried from grade school all the way through high school and my college years and into my work and professional life as well.

It held me back just not being able to speak up even if I had something of value to offer. And of course it's interesting that as we grow and expand, we discover how much we actually have that to offer, but don't realize it at the time. And also just to share how shy and introverted I was, I was actually the best man at my best friend's wedding. And from the time he asked me,

I was excited and honored. However, I was instantly worried about the dreaded thing called a speech or the toast that I knew I would have to give at the reception. So 12, 18 months passed by of me dreading this moment. And we're in front of 600 people at this wedding reception. And the time came for the best man, me, to stand up and give the speech. And I never stood up. So his cousin had to stand up and give the best man speech on

Chris Borja (10:36.104)
not on my behalf, he's just the one that did it. So it's something that still to this day I feel bad about, because he was also my best man. But I share that because oftentimes people now don't see how shy and introverted I was. And oftentimes we don't, like whether it's somebody that lost a ton of weight, we can't picture them overweight, or somebody like this where they say, I see you in front of people and talking in front of groups and presenting, and they don't see where we've come from. And all of us have this journey.

We know it and until we share it, sometimes it helps others to see what's possible if we just open ourselves up. But that journey didn't happen overnight. kept feeling like I was playing small. I felt like it was holding me back in my business and my work life. And I made a decision around 37 years old. I'm 52 now, so about 37 years old. I say, know what, I can't keep playing small. I can't keep hiding and avoiding situations because I found that

things that we're not comfortable with, we find excuses to not be in those situations. So like, you know, I'm not a dancer, I'm not a singer, so I'm not gonna go sing at a karaoke bar because somebody invites me, I'm gonna find an excuse to not go because I don't feel comfortable singing. You know, same with dancing, you invite me to a dance party, I'm probably gonna find an excuse not to go. But it also happens when people are uncomfortable with anything from going to the gym or going to a networking event, things that would benefit us.

But because of that discomfort, we talk ourselves out of it and we put ourselves in a position to where we're not there in a way we can set ourselves up for success. So that's where I just made a decision that didn't happen overnight. But I stopped saying no and I stopped hiding and I started just speaking up when the opportunity provided itself as nervous as I would get, but that's.

the changes that happen and as we start doing things, we get more comfortable, whether it's dancing, singing, going to the gym or networking, the more we do of it, the more we get out of our comfort zone. And we don't just get out of our comfort zone, but we actually expand our comfort zone by stepping outside of it. So yeah, that's some of the background.

Jordan Mendoza (12:43.02)
Yeah. Yeah, I appreciate it. Appreciate the context. Definitely a lot to unpack. A lot of things to talk about there. First off, your parents from the Philippines. My dad's from the Philippines. We have that mutual connection there. So what part of the Philippines are they from? And can you talk a little bit about their influence in your world, whether that's from the educational side or now seeing? I'm sure they're proud of all the things that you're building and that you're doing now.

Chris Borja (13:11.842)
Yep, absolutely. So dad was from Manila, so the capital, and mom was from Quezon City, which is still part of Manila, like right outside of Manila.

So I think that one of things I really learned, my dad was an entrepreneur. He had an automotive body shop and restoration shop, would restore classic cars like Shelby, like Shelby Mustangs, you know, different old cars and we'd restore them. So I grew up in that car culture and going to car shows and, really detailing up. I think he taught me to have an attention to detail.

which was actually my first business was detailing cars, because I learned it at the shop, is I would kind of prep the cars for them to go out. So that attention to detail, think carried through in every element of my life. My mom, she's always very supportive and encouraging of my goals of whatever I wanted to achieve. So I just appreciate having that safe and encouraging environment that not everyone...

Unfortunately, not everyone has. I had it and I'm blessed for it. We don't always get to choose our upbringing and our parents, but I think what we can do is when we have it is appreciate it and do the most with it. And so that's where I was at. was blessed with that situation to have both parents that had a great relationship with each other. taught me how to be, my dad taught me how to be a good father, a good husband. I saw their marriage.

Jordan Mendoza (14:21.672)
Sure.

Chris Borja (14:40.364)
you know, through and through. And I think it's carried through to me and even to our kids. So yeah, just continuing that legacy.

Jordan Mendoza (14:46.224)
Yeah, that's great. Yeah, that's great. That's great being able to extract those lessons and appreciate them, you know, helping you getting helping you become, you know, a better version of you, right, supporting you being there, showing you by leading by example, you know, those things are super important to have people like that in our world. So you mentioned, you know, being shy and introverted, you know, through college, you mentioned the experience with your, you know, the best man situation. And now we kind of

Fast forward today and all the things you're doing are very, you know, person to person, you know, front facing. It's not the, you're not the same person, right? You have literally evolved, you've changed, you've shifted your mindset and you've decided to start saying yes, like you said, in your late thirties even. And so whether you're listening to this show and you're, you know, in your teens, you're in your twenties, you're in your late thirties, you're in your fifties, sixties, I mean, it doesn't matter.

You know, as long as you woke up and you have breath in your lungs and, and, know, and you're out there, then you've got opportunity to create impact. You've got opportunity to be a blaze of trail to do something that you want to actually do. I actually was telling somebody recently, I have a client who's in his early seventies and you know, work, been working with him for seven months, eight months or so, and I was able to help.

get his confidence back up and now he's got a big consulting gig out of it. And it's like, it doesn't matter your age. You still have it in you. You can still go out. You can make things happen. You can start fresh, start from scratch, start new. So I wanna just give the audience context. Like let's talk about this transition. We know that you kind of held back for majority, the first 37 years of your life. You just were kind of.

hiding, right? Like hiding back, holding back. When you decided to say yes, what were some of the things that happened that maybe really shifted your mindset or your perspective and encouraged you to keep going and wanting more of, you know, being more front-facing, diving into things like professional development and really growing as a human?

Chris Borja (17:04.974)
Yeah, I think the fact that I survived it was one because I remember I was volunteered for my son's fifth grade, upward basketball team. So it's like a church basketball league for the kids to teach them and develop skills and things like that. And, you know, all the coaches there, most people were comfortable speaking in front of groups and kids and audiences. And I wasn't, you know, I was, was in the background. In fact, back then I wasn't even comfortable guiding kids.

Like it was time to get them prepared to say, Chris warm up the kids for practice. And I didn't even have the voice or the confidence to tell the kids, all right guys, line up, let's line up, get in line up. I would literally go, okay, Sam stand here. Okay, Tommy stand here. You can stand. Like I pulled them all one at a time to guide them each individually instead of rounding them all up and having the voice to just tell them what to do. So that was one, not even having that confidence. And at one time,

They did like a half time devotional for the parents where at half time the kids would go into the locker room and then one of the coaches would stand out and do a devotional talk for all the parents and the audience. And then for them it's no big deal, but they were just each busy and they said, Chris can do it. And normally that's where I would hide and say, no, I'll take care of kids or I'll do whatever. But I say, yeah, yeah, I could do it. And then I remember I had to go into the bathroom, look at myself in the mirror.

And you're like literally like in the movies where you're like practicing talking in front of the mirror and I was like, you could do this. You could do this, you know, and so I was extremely nervous and my voice did indeed crack when I, when I went up there in front of everyone, it cracked, but I was proud of myself that I did it and I survived. And that's what helped me keep going. It's like, I survived. I didn't die. You know, I'm still here and I don't think anyone remembers it. You know, that's like, we, pay, we, we pay way too much attention.

to ourselves that nobody else is paying that kind of attention to worry about what we how we look, is our hair right? All that kind of stuff. We worry about that stuff, but most people really don't. When as soon as I was done, I think they were just back to talking and I was gone. So I think that helped me just to see that most people are really more self-focused to be worrying about us. So it helped me a little bit with my self-consciousness, but of course just repetition, that changes. Just doing it over and over and over again.

Chris Borja (19:31.262)
and not giving me the out or the excuse that I can't do that or I'm not going to do that. So I just kept volunteering and any opportunity I had, even if it was small, because in the past speaking and sharing my introduction, like Chris, tell me about yourself in front of three people, my voice would crack. I mean, that's how nervous I would get in front of the group. I would literally almost pass out. So surviving is one, but I think just taking that action and doing it.

is the key and that's to me the one thing that's non-negotiable, it's not replaceable. You can't learn how to swim, ride a bike without getting on the bike, without jumping in the water. You just can't read books about it, you just can't think about it, meditate on it. Some things you just gotta do and I think this is part of it.

Jordan Mendoza (20:19.388)
Yeah, 100 % agree. That's something I talk to clients about it. Hey, how many reps did you put in? You know, how many people have you talked to? How many times did you practice this? You know, because if it's the numbers low, then you better get back to it. Because it's not something that's going to happen, you know, overnight. It's not instant gratification where you just turn it on, you know, and all of sudden now you have a new language in your arsenal. It just doesn't work like that.

Chris Borja (20:34.126)
more of it.

Jordan Mendoza (20:48.052)
So yeah, you got to put in the reps. So let's talk a little bit about some of the things that you started to do. And then I want to get into some of the ventures and things that you're doing to help people and advice you'd have for people that maybe are similar to you, like the people that walked in your shoes. I want to get you to share some tips here shortly, but let's talk a little bit about transitioning into entrepreneurship. you talked about,

did it at a young age, first started to detail cars, and then now I know you're kind of a serial entrepreneur at this point and you've got multiple things going. But what was like the first thing that you decided to create centered around what you're doing now?

Chris Borja (21:32.268)
Yeah. So the first thing is, in the networking journey. I was in a direct sales network marketing business. And of course, you know, perfect place for somebody who's shy and introverted, right? I mean, you, you, you're, you depend on generating your own prospects, leads converting them, you know, so self-development was big to be able to.

to learn. So that was the beginning of my self-development journey was right around 1999. Still shy, introverted through this whole time. Like I said, still hiding, playing small, trying to grow big, but stay under the radar type thing and not be the front person, which is very difficult to be successful when you're trying to stay under the radar to a certain extent.

over the course of trying to grow that business and getting tired of the traditional marketing, know, the three foot rule and, know, again, shy introvert, I don't want to talk to strangers in line and try to get their email or phone number to call them later and schedule an appointment or cold call and get rejected. I did them all, but I just didn't enjoy continually doing it as a way of life. And so right around 2012, I attended my first networking event. So sometimes you just see an event and it just calls out to you.

went to this event, it was a speed networking event with about 60 people there, totally intimidated because I had no clue what I was doing there or what to do or I was watching, observing. But one thing that was a breakthrough for me there was I saw people that were doing business in a different way than I was trying to grow business. They would literally just stand there at the end of the event and people would come to them with referrals and you know, multiple referrals for the same person just standing there and just, hey, I got this other person, can you help them out? Here's their situation. Yeah, give me their

information, I'll give them a call. And I looked at that, was just in awe because I was thinking if people came to me, I would probably do a lot better. I think my closing percentage would be significantly higher if people were coming to me to solve their problem rather than me going to people and trying to convince them that they need my services or my products. And so that was the beginning of the journey for me in the networking world. And after doing that, and one of the things that I see that's a challenge is that most people that go out to networking

Chris Borja (23:41.262)
groups or events like I was, aren't actually networking. They're actually prospecting. So I went to that event because I saw a lot of people, could collect their business cards, I can give them a call, try to set up a sales appointment. But we live in a whole new era where that doesn't work very well. And so after a while of that not working, I changed my strategy, partially out of defeat, partially out of just not seeing enough results. I got some results just by sure numbers of talking to more people.

but it wasn't a significant amount. But the shift happened when I started thinking about the dynamics of the event. I said, well, why are people here? Why did they come here, get dressed, iron their shirts, you know, and come to this event for, you know, spend 30 minutes to an hour driving and plus another couple hours at the event, plus the time. It's almost half a day for them to come to it. Why are they coming here? And they're not buying from me. And they're not buying from other people. So if everyone's coming to offer or sell,

That's what brings them to the event. So they're not there to buy, they're there to, if everybody comes, most of them are there to promote or to share. So I said, there's something wrong if we're not really there to network. But what I did is I figured me pitching wasn't really doing anything anyway. I said, let me just find out why they're here and what they're offering and what they're selling and what's the message they're looking to get out in marketplace. And as I got to know more people, it built a stronger relationship simply because I was listening, spent more time with them and found out what people were about and how they impact people.

And through doing that, I met enough people to where I started connecting the dots. I just started connecting them with one another. you should meet this person or you should go to this group or organization or have you tried this event? I just started becoming a connector without knowing what I was really doing. I just started connecting other people. And from doing that, it builds stronger relationships. And that's where I got the referrals. got people that say, I know other people that do what you do, but I like your style. I just know you're not pushy. I trust you with my people. And I would get several referrals from people from the same.

Sometimes they're not even my customer directly because it might not be a fit, but they kept me in mind. I say, you know what? think there's something here. So 2013 started our own networking group in city of Dublin, a suburb of Columbus. And that kind of started slow and it started to pick up steam and grow. About a year after that, I was starting to realize that it's not enough to just bring people together. And so this probably goes into a little bit more of your theme of blaze your own trails. Everything we do now is not something that

Chris Borja (26:09.326)
people have done before in the way that we're doing it. So we created our own path for all of these, just seeing different needs. So the group, there's plenty of networking opportunities in almost any town. You just look up networking events near me and there's probably tons of them that pop up. But what we wanted to create was a space that was fun, that was comfortable for the business community to get together to number one, meet one another because it's hard to find places to meet nowadays. Like if I say, hey, go meet.

Five people today. I mean, where would we go? Where do we drive our car to meet five new people today? Like we have to come back home with five new contacts, five new, even online. How do we build five solid connections online today out of the thousands of people on there? So first of all, let's create a space where people can meet. They understand they're all there to meet each other. So let's say there's 20 people there. That's a lot of people to meet. If they're all there to meet each other, already mission accomplished, we brought them together. Create a spirit of collaboration.

because I found, like I said, that most people go to events to prospect and not really to network. But if we create a spirit of collaboration, where collaborating is more about getting to know one another. So our definition of networking is building relationships so we can share resources with one another and create a win-win situation. That's it, just build a relationship so we can share resources, create a win-win situation. And that's collaboration. So create a spirit of collaboration right up front.

So people can let their guard down. They're not there to pitch each other. Like, cool. Let me just get to know this person. And then we created activities to where people get to know each other. So one of the activities that we like to do is called our new best friend activity, where we let them strangers meet. We intentionally pair strangers with each other and have them talk about anything that's not work related for the first several minutes. And it just changes the whole dynamics. They become real friends because they finally find commonalities. They find interests that they share.

And then the second part of activity, then we'll say, okay, now you can share your business. And it's just amazing how shifting those two dynamics around instead of, know, hey, what's your name? What do you do? What's your name? What do you do? What's your name? What do you do? Nobody's listening. Nobody cares. Nobody can relate to it, but they're actually making friends to where they can, they're actually interested and curious about what their new friend does. It's a lot more memorable. And oftentimes they're already starting to think of people they should meet. They're already thinking of referrals without them even asking.

Chris Borja (28:30.914)
Hey, do have any referrals that would like to buy my, they're like, no, I know somebody that you should meet. So it becomes organic. So we discovered that by creating situations for people, all of the stuff that we want to happen is happening organically now. And then the third compulsive, first one is bring people together to meet, second collaborate, and third thing is to help them grow intentionally because it becomes fun, becomes like a party, but with a purpose behind it. But we want to make sure that we're still focused on growth because we all have busy schedules.

And so that kind of developed into the group developed into that model. A year later, we said, okay, people need to learn how to network because they just never learned how to network. If you think about out of all the skills that we have in business, we've been through sales trainings, we've been through different things, but how many people have been through an actual networking training? And I said, it's the one skill that everyone's expected to know how to do in business. You talk to any entrepreneur, people will tell them, grow your network, go expand your network.

and to training, right? Go to these events. Here's a list of events happening in your area. And that's it. Shake hands with people, get their business cards, follow up with them. Okay, what do we do with this follow up? So I saw there's a big disconnect in what people had the capability of doing and they weren't networked because they were never taught. And so we created a program. I started doing workshops and training and it turned into over years, it turns into what is now the Networking Breakthrough Academy. So what we offer is a networking IQ assessment to where they know where

they fall on the seven critical skills to grow their network with intention and to get results from it. And that's important because previous to this, the only way that people really judged or gauged their networking proficiency is on comfort level. Like I feel comfortable networking or I don't feel comfortable networking. And neither one of those are proven pathways to success. There's people that are not comfortable, but great networkers. They might be empathetic, they're great listeners, they're great connectors.

but maybe don't feel comfortable in a big social gathering. There's other people that love it and maybe they're not necessarily a great networker or maybe they're not utilizing the fact that they're comfortable and they can help other people that aren't comfortable who will instantly imprint upon them because they're the one, like when we're the first, know, when we ever go to an event or a group for the first time and somebody welcomes us and makes us feel comfortable, talks to us so we're not by ourselves and introduces us to some other.

Chris Borja (30:55.554)
We imprint upon them. They're like our best friends for the rest of the event. We want to hang out with them the whole time if they let us, right? And so just helping people understand these dynamics that are happening. So we did a network IQ assessment. We have the networking essentials for success book where they learn that. And actually, at the end of show, we'll give out a free resource where people can access these things and get a copy of the book for free. So I said, let's give out the PDF copy. They can purchase a copy on Amazon if they choose.

but at least give them a PDF copy so anyone that needs it can get this because networking is a team sport, not an individual sport. So the way I look at it is that we're creating a movement more than anything to where we're helping people to learn how to connect with each other, how to create more results through community, through collaboration, through genuine authentic relationships, which also happens to make the world a better place one connection at a time, one community at a time. So as we do that, we also...

It's a cycle to where now we create a more fertile environment for all of our businesses to grow. We create a community where people are looking out for each other. They know each other. They know what everyone else does. We're all going to thrive. said, so why don't we create, so that's where our connected networking group and then the trainings come in and then the final component that we evolved into was realizing, okay, now that people know how to network and understand these skills where we teach them not how to get a sale at the end of their networking journey,

but how to create partnerships and collaborations because for each and every one of us in business, when we make a sale today, we got to repeat that tomorrow. We got to get another sale tomorrow. But if we create partnerships, that's ongoing. That's repeat business. That's sustainability. That's where it gives us our time back. We're not spending 80 % of our time becoming sales persons for the stuff that we offer, the product we offer, the services we offer, and only 20 % doing

doing the thing that we actually love. And so we want to reverse that and give people their time back. So that's what we find through networking is that we have a way to reverse the traditional sales funnel. Instead of talking to hundreds of people to maybe get one sale, why not build a connection relationship with that one person that opens you up to the hundreds or even thousands of people that they know that they're willing to introduce you to because you built a relationship with them.

Chris Borja (33:16.098)
That's where we help people with this whole process and system. And the final thing that we added to this, just this past year was the Connected Toolkit, which is an all-in-one software to help people maintain their contacts, relationships, have a pipeline, be able to easily connect with people, reach out via text, email, capture leads, automate processes, but focused on relationship building. So where that's always at the heart of it, to where we're using, you know, high-tech.

to compliment high touch. So why not utilize all the tools that are available for us? So that's the evolution of what we've done in the course of doing that, create this community. The big vision for this is for us to reach 10,000 connected networking group chapters worldwide by 2035. So that's 10 years from now. We just started our expansion last year. So we were running our single chapter since 2013.

But last year we started expanding and selling the license for this connected networking group. We expanded to 24 chapters so far. Our goal is 65 this year. And as I 10,000 by 2035. So that puts us about 10 million members around the world that believe like we do that we're all connected, that diversity is our strength and that we are all better together. And that's something that I'm passionate about because I feel like it's something that the world needs right now, because we're in such a divided.

world that people are, I mean, divided over everything. I mean, you can pick anything on social media and people have such polarized views and people unfriending each other because they don't believe what they do. And my opinion of that is we need to understand more. Why do they believe that? Then try to convince them how we believe because in their shoes, who knows? We probably be the same way as as they do with their life experiences and their perspectives. So I think that's what makes us is better is just understanding each other.

understanding different cultures, understanding different backgrounds, personalities, and I think that helps to make the world a better place.

Jordan Mendoza (35:18.796)
Yeah, that's it. Yeah, and I appreciate you giving the context. I know people are gonna want more information on how this works, know, whether they are avid networkers or they might be in the same position that you were, Chris, where they're shy and introverted still. And they're like, man, maybe this can help me finally get past some of that. You know, I love the fact that you talked about breaking the ice. how do we actually, how can we be purposeful to connect?

immediately about nothing that has to do with business, you know, because that's where the magic starts to happen. People start to, like you said, learn about each other, find out that they have things in common. And those are relationships that I'm sure you're seeing in testing this for a decade plus that these are lifelong relationships that are happening, you know, and they're the networks that they can build, you know, proximity is power. And when you can have the right people around you.

that are trying to lift you up and everyone's helping each other, like you said, a collaborative environment that is going to bear a lot of fruit. It's gonna bear a of positive outcomes by having that dialed in. So where can the folks go, Chris? If they hear this or they see some video content from this episode and they're like, man, I want more information. Maybe they wanna launch a chapter in their city. Where's the best place to reach out to you?

Chris Borja (36:46.158)
All of my services products are available at chrisborja.com. So this is my first and last name, C-H-R-I-S-B-O-R-J-A.com. And also for anyone that's interested in IQ assessment, the free copy of the book and link to the Networking Breakthrough Academy, go to becomeabetternetworker.com and all of that will be on there.

Jordan Mendoza (37:10.948)
Awesome. Awesome. Well, hey, it's really cool to learn about your story and your journey. And you're definitely blazing trails from hoping that no one called on you and not wanting to open your mouth to having conversations with people and creating impact with people in the form of getting them to communicate. It's just funny how the world works. And it's funny that we don't know what our journey is going to look like. You could start out one way and end up on

completely other side and helping the exact people that you used to be. So continue to blaze your own trail, my friend. Thanks so much for coming on the show and hope you have a great day.